ABC News Anchors Burn Cubs After Longtime Chicago Fan Pope Leo XIV is Announced: ‘Acquainted with Suffering’

The ascendency of the first American to the Chair of Peter was apparently not enough of a solemn occasion to prevent ABC’s conclave anchors from taking a shot at the new pontiff’s baseball team.

White smoke poured forth on Thursday afternoon to let the world know that the Conclave of Cardinals had settled on a new pope. Cardinal Robert Prevost, an American from Chicago now known as Leo XIV, had become the first American elected to the papacy.

It didn’t take long for ABC’s Terry Moran—himself a Cubs fan—and co-anchor David Muir to seize upon the long-suffering of North Siders and incorporate that into their coverage of Leo XIV.

“You know, something you said struck me, that he was a Cubs fan from the south side of Chicago, and yet you hear him, the Vatican described, for his quiet, humble way,” Muir began.

“That’s perhaps how he survived being a Cub fan, from the South Side.”

Moran chimed in, “That’s a great point, David. And another thing that you know, because he’s a Cubs fan, is he is well-equated with suffering in the sporting world. The Cubs didn’t win a World Series for 108 years. Any team can have a bad century. And he knows that.

“And hope springs eternal. They’re a contender this year, it looks like. And so maybe this is an auspicious sign for his ball club.”

X users reacted with hilarity at the news of the pope’s baseball allegiance.

When reporters asked if he could make a special prayer for the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary to save the Cubs’ pitching staff, Leo XIV responded, “You’re asking a lot of the Virgin Mary.”

Just kidding, that did not happen.