Tariffs, outsourcing, tax cuts, tax credits, China, streaming, Covid… There are all kinds of excuses for Hollywood’s troubles, and now, thanks to President Trump and his Hollywood envoy, Oscar-winner Jon Voight, several solutions are being bandied about.
That’s all well and good, but the film industry’s primary problem today is that movies suck the big one.
No amount of tariffs, tax, breaks, tax credits, voodoo, or hoodoo can save an industry that reliably produces a product that sucks the big one.
And then there’s the cost. What the hell is going on in Hollywood that Godzilla Minus One can deliver fantastic (and Oscar-winning) special effects with a $15 million budget, but it costs $465 million to deliver a Jurassic World: Dominion — which, by the way, sucked the big one?
Hollywood is so void of ideas, they have turned to $300 to $400 million carnival ride-gambles that have to earn close to $1 billion — with a “B” — just to break even. And almost all of those movies suck the big one.
We all know why they suck the big one. The entertainment industry is so out of touch with its audience, with Normal people, they think we want the movies to lecture us about white privilege and global warming; that we want to see open homosexuality on the big screen and trans-freaks portrayed as normal. Hollywood insults us, condescends to us, demeans us… And this hectoring and preaching hurts the only art that matters in movies: the art of story and storytelling.
And there’s no sex anymore — except gay sex, which a lot of people do not want to see.
I’m not talking about porn or even nudity. Whatever happened to a sexy woman looking sexy? What’s wrong with a little sensual heat? Ingrid Bergman, Rita Hayworth, Barbara Stanwyck, Ginger Rogers, Veronica Lake, Lauren Bacall… they gave every healthy, heterosexual male a reason to live without removing anything more than their shoes and gloves. It wasn’t too long ago we had Kim Bassinger, Sharon Stone, Salma Hayek, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Halle Berry steaming up our glasses fully clothed. That’s all gone now, and I miss it.
How did the Mad Max series go from bombshells like Tina Turner and Charlize Theron, to that weird-looking alien chick with the body of a 12-year-old boy?
Men are no longer allowed to fall in love or lust at the movies — which is insane and kills the rewatch value (especially home video). And I’ll tell you what really kills the rewatch value: gay stuff.
Another suggestion would be to bring back movie stars — real movie stars who appeal to Normal People and not just gay guys. You need more Brad Pitts, Jason Stathams, Will Smiths… You need more Sandra Bullocks, Halle Berrys, Charlize Therons…
You definitely need movie stars who don’t insult Normal People, who are self-deprecating instead of obnoxiously full of themselves, and who actually appreciate their good fortune and fame (or at least have enough class to pretend they do). Goodwill is what long careers are made of.
But most of all, you need compelling stories driven by compelling characters instead of what we have now, which is the woke-raping by way of cheap CGI populated by actors and characters no one cares about.
If Mr. Whipple calls the customers Nazis and sells toilet paper that feels like sandpaper, no amount of tariffs or tax cuts will save Charmin.
If Ronald McDonald dresses like a woman, tries to groom our kids, and sells hamburgers that taste like ass, no amount of tariffs or tax cuts will save McDonald’s.
You want proof? Look at Sinners. It’s not a sequel, prequel, videogame, remake, board game, or piece of IP. It’s a total original starring mostly black actors, and it has captured the attention of the same moviegoing public you write off as racist, simple-minded, and wanting only the familiar.
How do you screw up Star Wars?
How do you screw up Lord of the Rings?
Bottom line…
The box office sucks the big one because your product sucks the big one because you suck the big one.
P.S. Why is it that left-wing Hollywood believes that the entertainment industry is the only industry that should enjoy lower taxes?
John Nolte’s first and last novel, Borrowed Time, is winning five-star raves from everyday readers. You can read an excerpt here and an in-depth review here. Also available in hardcover and on Kindle and Audiobook.
